You and Me and Bottle make's Three
by Evaldas
Summary: [PostGame: Fluff fiction.][Dark humor] Vincent and Lucrecia find themselves at a pub with intentions of forgetting their past. Instead of finding their ultimate peace, Lucrecia finds out that Vincent knows a few magic tricks.


You and Me and Bottle make's three 

Vincent pushed the door opened and stood there for a moment while looking inside.

"This is quite a dive isn't it?" Lucrecia murmured as she pushed Vincent's red cloak to the side.

He merely shrugged. "Not there is much of a choice. It's been a while since I was last over in this sector."

"Never mind you never went out much, period." She added.

He ignored her jab at the lack of a social life. Grabbing her hand, he led them around the back to a dark corner away from the door. A small black and white cat scrambling past the closing door and brushed past the gunman's boot and into the dark shadows of the pub. Pulling out a chair for Lucrecia, he waited until she was seated before sitting down. She sat silently with her hands placed motionlessly on her lap.

_'So much has changed. Not us, but everything around us. Around me._' Her purple-burgundy eyes shifted to the side as sat in silence_. 'The last time I saw you I thought you were dead. Hojo showed me a coffin and you were laying in it. It seemed surreal, but back then I had no other reason to think otherwise. And now, you're alive. So, you were never truly dead, were you? Then, what terrible things did that man do to you? I could only guess Jenova injections and an ice pick. Truly a terrible fate had been dealt to the both of us. Maybe things would have been better if you were killed and I as well.'_

"Everything alright? Should we go somewhere else?" Vincent asked as he leaned forward. Lucrecia's eyes slide up and offered a slight smile.

"No." Lucrecia looked around before speaking again. "We should get drunk."

Vincent blinked. "Pardon?"

Lucrecia straightened out and relaxed in her chair. "Let's face it, Vincent. What else do have to loose? And considering what we have endured, I think a drink is in order, maybe two."

It was his turn to drop quiet. Leaning back, he reached into his pant's pocket and pulled out a wad of paper gil bills. He looked them over and nodded. A young man approached the table offering to take their order. Vincent glanced at the waiter and then to Lucrecia.

"Gin and tonic right?"

----

Lucrecia sat staring at her drink. "It's almost like old times. Sitting at a run down pub with the locals, marginal food and even more marginal music."

Vincent dipped a french fry into some ketchup. "I suppose so."

Lucrecia smiled briefly before her frown returned. "Do you think that Jenova will let us die from alcohol poisoning?"

Vincent shrugged filling his shot glass from the Wild Turkey bottle. "There is only one way to find out. However, if you want to make sure to have a more sure shot success, I would suggest an incinerator or a debris chipper." '_Cause at least with a chipper, they can never find a body…ehm, at least that is what I heard.'_

The scientist took a drink from her glass. "I suppose the chipper wouldn't be too bad. The thought of making flowers grow would be nice. We could push up daisies together."

Vincent dipped another fry. "I don't like daisies."

Lucrecia smiled. "Yeah, you seem more like a red geranium sort of man."

He paused in mid-motion with the french fry. "I hate red."

Lucrecia blinked. "But your cloak. Why do you still wear that thing?"

Vincent sighed. "I can hide in it."

"But it's bright, _here- I -am_, red." Lucrecia gestured with her french fry.

Vincent's red eyes darted around before settling back to the tabletop. " It's warm."

Lucrecia gave a sigh in defeat.

-------------

He felt something cold and wet drop on his forehead. Annoyed, he reached up and wiped at it and settled back to sleep until it dripped again. Vincent tried to ignore it but found only one side of him was warm while the other was cold. He groaned muttering something about one of Reeve's cats.

He opened his eyes found he was slouched against a wall in an alley.

"Where...?" Vincent turned and found Lucrecia's head resting against his shoulder huddled in his cloak. Wait, _his_ cloak? Vincent patted himself and found he was still wearing his clothes.

"Hey.." He moved his right arm trying to wake Lucrecia up. A pair of purple eyes squinted up at him. She blinked several times before she became alert.

"Why are you wearing my tie?"

Vincent looked around trying to see what she was referring to. He was not wearing anything around his neck. His hand then went head and found the tie wrapped around his head. Grabbing it, he pulled it down and held it out to her. Vincent lifted his left hand and found it naked. '_There apparently seems to be something missing…'_

"Seen my gauntlet?"

Lucrecia moved until she leaned against the wall. "Nope."

She vaguely remembered his attempt at joking about giving people a "hand". Pathetic as the jokes were, she laughed at each one. Part of it was the deadpan delivery. That was one thing, for whatever reason, she was glad had remained the same. Vincent looked around and found nothing until he shifted and found something sharp stabbing at his leg.

"Found it." Vincent pulled the piece of gold armor from under his leg.

Lucrecia looked down at the red cloak she was wrapped up in. It was warm, but smelled like a mixture of dog, mothballs and Vincent's general scent. "You need to have this thing cleaned, it smells weird. And what's with the black fur...?" She pulled the inside part of the cloak out showing off the loose fur the clung to the fabric. "Do you know how long I am going to picking black fur off my clothing? Did you keep a dog in this or something?" Lucrecia tried to brush off some of the fur.

Vincent struggled to find a way to explain the fur. '_How could I explain that in two words or less? Yeah, I could tell her I am nothing more then a huge, fuzzy puppy.'_ Lucrecia paused, first patting herself and then looked around until she finally stopped.

"Where's my bra?" Lucrecia's eyes focused on Vincent.

He opened and shut his mouth. "Well I am certainly not wearing it."

Lucrecia sighed, seeming a little worried. Then she laughed. " And I can't even remember what we did after having my fourth drink...I just remember when you missed the chair sitting down, you giggled like a girl."

Vincent shifted and looked away.

Lucrecia frowned trying to remember anything from last night. "We didn't do anything, right?" She played with the edge of the cloak.

"I am fairly sure we did not." Somehow he could not even convince himself by his statement. Vincent's memory was vague about the details of the night before. All he managed to recall was Lucrecia kicking someone off the piano and something about a magic trick he performed. His red eyes went wide in realization. Reaching into his other pocket, he found something wadded up. He pulled it out and found it was a white lace bra.

"I hope this is yours." He held it up. Lucrecia looked at the garment and blushed. She snatched it from his hand.

Lucrecia scowled as she used his cloak to shield herself as she put on her bra. "Never would have imagined that I would wake up in an alley, with a man, and not remember a single thing I did."

"Perhaps it is for the benefit of our dignity that we don't remember."

Lucrecia pulled up her knees and rested her chin on them and then closed her eyes.

"Why did we end up here?" She mumbled.

Vincent let his head lean back and rested against the brick-building facade. "You saw a cat when we got kicked out and went after it." Vincent's eyebrows knit as he closed his eyes in response to the accelerating throbbing of his head. "By the way, was that cat wearing anything odd like a cape or crown?"

A heavy lidded, purple eye looked over at him. "Yeah, but I thought that was part of the intoxication."

Vincent cursed under his breath. "Reeve." He snarled.

"Who's Reeve?"

"Someone I am going to strangle next time I see." Vincent flexed his fist. The only thing that kept his ire at bay was the second blast of a headache.

"Not only did we not die from the alcohol, but it seemed she deemed it worthy to let us have a nasty hangover instead."

Lucrecia whimpered in return as she sunk down behind the deep collar of his cloak.

**Author's note: **_Yah, yah I know there are several pieces already out there about "what if's" concerning the reunion of Lucrecia and Vincent. But I thought this rendition was amusing to write. Some of what was mentioned will be showing up in my major fanfic "When the Sun sets…" I just haven't gotten there yet._

_I wanted to use Reeve to help explain what happened during that night, but it seemed not to fit well, so I did a little adjustment and hints at what happened. And no, they did not **do** anything other then get really drunk and sing karaoke._


End file.
